What 2 Expect: Vegan

Recently, I have decided to become a vegan. Meaning, that I cut out all meat, dairy, and eggs from my diet; I know, scary huh? This lifestyle change was brought on by a few different things. I decided to become a vegan for health benefits, to ease the gag reflex of watching a slaughterhouse video, and for the simple reason of weight loss. Now, don’t worry, I will still be writing article about non-vegan foods. I still have to cook for my family, right? Besides, just because I’m a vegan doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate a good chicken and cheese recipe!

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I view someone’s diet the same as I would view anyone’s religion. And no, that doesn’t mean that I worship the apple and ice cream gods; though that would be tempting, wouldn’t it?

No, I view someone’s diet the same as there religion by not sharing an opinion at all. I will never tell you to be catholic, atheist, Jewish, Muslim, or any other religion. As long as the religion doesn’t cause harm to anyone else, then practice it all you want. The same goes for diets, or as some would say, lifestyles.  I will never judge someone based on how they eat; vegetarian, meat eater, Cookie Monster, doesn’t matter. Bottom line, I don’t judge you eating habits, much like I don’t judge religions, so don’t judge mine.

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Yet, there is a difference between not judging and being curious. So I though that I would tell everyone what it is you should exactly expect if you were to ever turn vegan. Here are the good, the bad, and just plan ugly of becoming a vegan. But be aware, the jokes from friends and family will never be in short supply.

  • You will become borderline obsessed with checking menus online to EVEVRY restaurant you go to. You will check the same restaurant hundreds of times in the god locking hope that maybe, just maybe, they added at least one item that was vegan friendly.
  • You family and friends will think that being a vegan is a part time job; they will try to batter with you on what you can eat. For example, they will say that you can have butter with your bread if you are eating tofu. It’s not a diet; there are no “cheat days” in being a vegan.
  • You will become a pro at reading food labels. You don’t even need to scan the entire list; you’re eyes will just automatically go to milk, eggs, butter, and any other type of animal products.
  • You will have a list on the notepad app on you phone with all the different “hidden” animal products to look out for. These hidden products are disguised as long confusing science words that you can’t even pronounce: L-Cysteine (E920), Carmine/cochineal, Casein, Ghee, Lanolin, etc.
  • You will eventually just start to eat whole food, things like tofu, beans, fruits and veggies, just because it takes to long to read the ingredient label on dozens of foods in a single shopping trip. Because, lets be honest, no body got time for that.
  • You will find vegan blogs, both belief in lifestyle and recipes, which you have never even heard of. You will find more recipes then you will ever know what to do with, and yet, you will always go back to your top five favorite every time.
  • You will probably go on YouTube and watch pro vegan and slaughterhouse clips whenever you feel yourself craving a nice steak.
  • But don’t worry! After about a month of eating purely vegan those cravings will almost disappear. Unfortunately, I have not gotten to the stage where I no longer crave cheese fries…

Oh, and by the way, you will have unbelievably strong urges to devour a nice steak when it’s *coughcough* that time of the month, and no, eating more spinach will not help…

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